Sunday, January 20, 2008

Letting Go Is The Hardest Part....

A piece of my heart is in Cali...

Last night, 01.19.08, I watched a piece of my heart board a plane to California.
My daughter Nesa, felt impeded living in Mi, and as a show of support I offered to help remedy that.
In venting to my lil sis-who comments on here as " Yo' Sista" (she's so original, lol)-she offered to help my baby, by offering her home to her.
It was sooo unexpected I broke down in tears. (yes, I did)
In what had to be the quickest passage of time, 30 days came and went, and it was time to drive my baby to the airport.
She chose the right day-so far it was the coldest day of 2008. A bitter, wintry cold that meant uncertain death for some unfortunate souls.

My daughter is the spitting image of me.

Her face is her father's, but my daughter is a WWC (Women With Curves) member-like mommy, but not only that:
she loves hard
she's loyal
loves to laugh
is staunch in her opinions
stands by her convictions
a procrastinator :)
is smart
will apologize if she's offended
fights for the underdog
believes it takes a village to raise a child
doesn't like change, but will change eventually
needs to know (by verbal and physical actions) that she's loved
needs encouragement and guidance
and is crazy in love with Christ.

(fuzzy pic, but look how much taller my daughter is!!)
Our relationship is a testimony to Christ.

We've been thru hell and high water as our relationship did a nosedive into hatred and rebellion, which in turn lead to an extremely tumultuous period during her teenage years (14-17).
She blamed me for her life, and her father's lack of participation in said life.
She strongly disliked me and vice versa.
She's lived between my home and her paternal aunt.
We survived.
Things changed on her graduation day from high school.
She thanked me for raising her, and for my not allowing her to be a wildchild on the street.
I've since had to step back and watch her evolve into the woman that God not mom, has called her to be.

(Nesa w/ Mama Ivent-mama took Nesa's leaving worse than I did!)
Lil' Mama,
I know you'll read this-
(since you've already checked in YBR! Thanks 4 leaving mom a comment!)
I want you to know as I've said a million times, I AM SO PROUD OF U!
Do NOT let people's negative actions, words or deeds-clip your wings!

Nesa, you are an Eagle, so soarrrrrr!

Remember just as the Eagle has these characteristics, so do you-
  • Have Vision: Continue to see into your future. Remain focused, and continue to write the vision down and make it plain so God can manifest it. Think BIG if you want BIG RESULTS!!
  • Eagles NEVER eat dead meat: Go where the action is. You're the hunter-don't let someone do the work and you get the leftovers. Go after what it is you want!
  • Looks for and flies into storms: Don't let this scare you! Eagles use the storm to lift him to these great heights. You, Nesa will use storms (challenges) to make you a better person. How will you know your resilience-if you're not bent and bounced around by life, sometimes?? Accept the storms (challenges) you can't stop them from happening. You'll grow to learn this: storms are tools used to develop you.
  • *Remember: life at times is like driving on a sheet of ice on MI streets. You can't keep your car from sliding, but you can keep it from getting worse. Do you remember how? Stay calm, take your foot off the brake, and turn the steering wheel in the same direction as the skid (storm), not the opposite. In other words, work with the storm, skid, challenge-don't fight it. You'll only prolong the skid, and it can end disastrously.*
  • Are Very Gentle & Attentive To (Their) Young: Nesa, God has imparted into you a great love for young people. You know what they need, when they need it. Continue to love, hug, kiss, and encourage young people. Especially those whose only point of contact may be you. I've observed you with pride as you've interacted with children, and in speaking with friends,I've referred to you as the Pied Piper of Children. Your loyalty knows no bounds and thank you for getting little kids ready for school when their mamas' wouldn't. You've combed hair, gotten them dressed, seen them off to bus stops, and were home when they arrived from school. All this and you have no children of your own. You are such a blessing! You may have grown weary, but you never fainted, and God will reward your faithfulness and diligence. Eagle Characteristics
As I've said to you and your brother, "I didn't raise y'all, y'all raised me!" lol
I thank God for my two motivators and I can't wait to see you in Cali.
Thank you, my China doll for allowing me the privilege of being your mother.

You'll always inspire me to be and do better.
Love you Shmeeny,
Mommy :)

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Please know...threats of hell and bible scriptures are futile-look at your church if you don't believe me! Get your 'body of christ' in order and then come talk to me.

Yours in Reason, Bria :)