Just For Kicks & Giggles!

Thank goodness for good friends!
Besides Faux Maya Angelou and all of my other boos in the blogosphere, I had to give a shout out to my dude Beytoevn, for making my day with the following email-I hope it's as funny to you as it was/is to me!

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things
people actually said in court, word for word , taken down and now
published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these
exchanges were actually taking place.





ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

____________________________________________________________________



ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________________



ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you
forgot?

_____________________________________



ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

______________________ ________________



ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

______________________________________



ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: ; Did you actually pass the bar exam?

____________________________________



ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

________________________________________



ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?

______________________________________



ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid!

______________________________________



ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS : Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a
different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

______________________________________



ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

______________________________________



ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Guess.

_____________________________________



ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition
notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________



ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead
people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Would you like to rephrase that?

______________________________________



ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go
to?

WITNESS: Oral.

______________________________________



ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 P.M.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I
was doing an autopsy on him!

____________________________________________



ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________



And the best for last:

______________________________________



ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a
pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you
began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,
nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive
and practicing law

Glitter Graphics at GlitterGeek.com

Come See What's Poppin'at Bria's Own Words, my OTHER blog! Also, support up and coming fellow blogger, Faux Maya Angelou

For the latest on the village idiot known as Kwame Kilpatrick (Detroit City Mayor)

click
here

And on that note...

Celebrities , Court & the Law...

Remy Ma got 8 years to get over her jailhouse blues...

R. Kelly's trial may be tried by a majority of non-blacks...I bet he's PISSY!

Isaiah Washington says "how y'all gone fire me, and then have the nerve to use my image??!* suing Grey's Anatomy...I know that's right!

*j/k uhhhhh...he didn't say that exactly...

Kim Porter will probably be taking Diddy (he is truly an idiot) to court after seeing these pics.

Barry Bonds and perjury charges going together like PB&J


Ice Cube's song "Jackin' for Beats" headed to court


Athlete Jayson Williams trial may include racial slurs


Biggie's family CAN sue Los Angeles


God was on Foxy Brown's side


Wesley "I Ain't Got To Pay Taxes" Snipes wants freedom during appeal


"Pretty Eyes" Dourdan charge w/3 felonies...what a shame


(Unknown rapper -to me) Uncle Murda busted w/fake id...sigh

Come See What's Poppin'at Bria's Own Words, my OTHER blog!

I hope this passes...

'DONDA WEST LAW' TO BE PROPOSED IN CALI: Bill would require patients to get medical clearance before undergoing plastic surgery.

*A California Assemblywoman is sponsoring new legislation that would require all patients receiving elective plastic surgery to receive clearance from a licensed doctor.

On behalf of Kanye West's family, Assemblywoman Wilmer Amina Carter announced Friday (Feb. 22) that she has proposed the "Donda West Law," which would allow doctors to ensure that patients are healthy enough to endure the potential rigors of general anesthesia.

"Most people who do cosmetic surgery are certified and do a good job, and they do require patients to have physicals," Carter told the Inland Valley Daily Bulletin on Friday. "But some do not, and as we have seen, it can cause problems, and that's why we want to make this a requirement across the state."

Dr. Donda West, the mother of Kanye West, died Nov. 10 at a hospital in Los Angeles a day after undergoing breast reduction surgery, a tummy tuck and liposuction. An autopsy revealed she likely died of heart disease, coupled with complications after the surgery, "but the final manner of death could not be determined," the report concluded.

Yolanda Anderson, a niece of Donda West, reached out to Carter to suggest the legislation.

"I didn't want her death to be in vain," said Anderson, 45. "I wanted her name to live on so this wouldn't happen to other people."

Anderson said she spoke with Kanye on Friday afternoon while he's on tour in Australia and told him of Carter's involvement.

"He is ecstatic and very grateful," Anderson said. "He said, 'You started this. Now run with it and let me know how I can help."'

Anderson said there's an effort to get similar legislation pushed in Illinois, where Dr. West lived for many years, as well as Oklahoma, where she was born. Kanye West also suggested New York, where his mother did business on his behalf. source

*****
Countless lives will be saved. I sure hope this passes!



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Baby Samson, Gets To Keep His Hair!!

ACLU claims victory in hair war with school
credits: The Detroit News, Yahoo News

DETROIT -- A 14-year-old student who was suspended from Old Redford Academy for keeping his hair long to uphold his religious beliefs will return to school, the American Civil Liberties Union of Michigan announced today.

The school's board of directors decided last night to grant Claudius Benson, a freshman at Old Redford Academy, a religious accommodation to the school's dress code, the ACLU announced on its Web site.

School officials couldn't be immediately reached for comment.
"We're encouraged that Old Redford Academy has made the right decision," said Mark Fancher, the attorney who argued the case for the ACLU. "It is our hope that the school has recognized that no public institution or school administrator can decide what is or is not an appropriate religious belief."

Claudius was enrolled in Old Redford for three days before being expelled on Sept. 6 for violating the school's dress code requiring "closely cropped hair."
The school requires that boys wear black blazers, white shirts, ties, and "close cropped hair," with no braids, twists, or dreadlocks.

Last week, the American Civil Liberties Union of Michigan won a temporary victory when Wayne County Circuit Court Judge Kathleen MacDonald ruled the boy can return to school with his hair pulled in an Afro puff pending an evidentiary hearing to evaluate the sincerity of his religious beliefs.

Alecha Benson said her family practices their own interpretation of old Jewish Law, and that the religion mandates Old Testament-length hair.
"I am just happy to be in school," Claudius said in a released statement.