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Sweet Georgia Brown
Cheryl Robinson
NAL Trade, January 2, 2008
$13.95 US; ISBN: 0451222288
Meet Georgia Brown-a humble housewife determined to become a household name….
After eleven years of marriage, Georgia Brown is fed up with her husband, Marvin, a popular radio personality. It’s not just because she suspects he’s having an affair, or because she’s suddenly expected to raise his thirteen-year-old daughter, Chloe-whom she never even knew existed. It’s because of the comments he makes about her weight, their marriage, and their sex life…on national radio! Now, to save their marriage, Marvin invites Georgia to the station for an on-air rebuttal . . . .
*****
I was invited today to participate in the SWEET GEORGIA BROWN: Humble Housewife 2008 Virtual Book Tour. Cheryl Robinson, the author of this exciting new release has me the question, “If I was in her humble housewife, Georgia Brown’s shoes, what would my on-air rebuttal be?”
Here's My Rebuttal:
He knew I was in the building, because my Clinique Aromatics Elixir Perfume was my calling card. Like an old decrepit broke down horse on its way to becoming glue, I decided to put that sorry-excuse-for-a-husband of mine out of his misery. I not only showed up, I also I showed out. And baby, I gave showin' out a new meaning.
Listening to the show while walking down the hall, I heard Marvin stutter. Not once, not twice, but three times. Nervous are you, Marvin? Good.
"...ha ha ha, yo-you-you'll see what I mean when she-she arrives. You'll see I'm not uhhh ly-ly-, uhh exaggerating." Marvin said while nervously looking around.
"Are you alright Marvin? You don't look so good." Observed his newest and youngest co-host to date, Alexis.
"St-stay in a child's place, Alexis. You will speak when I tell you to."
"Look, I may be young, but you will not treat me the way you treat, Geogia. I'm not your wife and you better remember that." Alexis shot back.
"Oh, I-I know you're not Georgia-
"Did someone call my name?" and Georgia entered the nondescript, stifling room, that launched 'Marvelous Marvin."
Silence.
Exchanged glances.
"Who are you?!" asked a shocked Alexis.
"Hi, how are you? And in answer to your question, I'm the wildebeest of a wife that Marvin speaks of so often. Ergo, I'm the reason you have a job young lady." Georgia offered with the confidence of a corporate raider.
"No. Uh-uh. You're not Marvin's wife. Marvin made you sound like Roseanne Barr, or that "Cat lady" Jocelyn Wildenstein. You look as if you belong in Upscale Magazine, or better yet, Vogue Magazine." Noting Georgia's stylishly sleek bob haircut, that's eerily reminiscent of her favorite singer, Rihanna. Uh-uh are those the brand new Baby Phat pumps she has on? I won't be able to have those shoes in my closet until next year-when they're out of style! Who is this woman?
Alexis looks at Marvin, who only has eyes for Georgia.
"Marvin, I thought you said-" was all Alexis could say before she was cut off.
"Georgie...I knew you were," Marvin said just above a whisper.
"Excuse me, Marvin? Please repeat yourself, you are a bit incoherent." commanded Georgia with the confidence of someone who had three bulls by their six horns.
Clearing his throat, Marvin repeated louder, " I knew you were here-I smelled you."
Knowing full well what he meant, Georgia couldn't resist the dig," Why Marvin, that's the nicest thing you've said to me in, hold on a moment..." counting on her fingers, "5 years, ha ha-I'm shocked and appalled."
"But-"
Before Marvin could finish, "Let's get this party started shall we? Someone come and take my coat." Tracy, the intern helped Georgia out of her coat, and lingered long enough to compliment her on her black St. John Santana suit with the flared skirt.
"Thank you uhh, what's your name?" Geogia asked the intern.
"You've lost weight, Georgie." Marvin interjected.
He sounded like a lost puppy.
All business, Georgia replied," Oh. That. Glad you noticed, Marvin. I lost 65lbs, SEVEN months ago, but you know what they say, 'better late than never,' right?
"right." Marvin said quietly.
"Tracy-" said the intern.
"Excuse me sweetheart?" giving attention to Tracy.
"Tracy, my name's Tracy."
"Oh yes Tracy, thank you sweety for the compliment, and remember with hard work and a checking account-and good credit, you'll be able to enjoy the luxuries life has to offer you, too." Georgia advised.
"Doesn't that mean you must be on the payroll making money in order to get a checking account?? I've been told for two months I would be added to payroll, and I'm still waiting." Tracy complained, with the obligatory pout.
"Oh really?" Asked Geogia,while looking at Marvin.
"What??"Marvin asked guiltily.
Shaking her head, Georgia rifles through her purse in search for her classic Coach wallet. Retrieving a card, she gives it to Tracy...
"What are you doing?!" cries out Marvin.
"30 seconds before showtime-"
"Offering Tracy a job."
"Thank you, Mrs. Brown-"
"Call me, MS. Brown-"
"MS. Brown?? Georgia, I'm your husband and we have to talk."
"20 seconds-"
"Oh my goodness, thank you Mrs., I mean MS. Brown," Tracy says excitedly while handing Georgia the headphones she'll need this morning.
"Correction. You're my husband FOR NOW. The only talking from here on out, will be between our lawyers. Capiche?" warned Georgia.
"What in the hell is going on?" asks Alexis, completely perplexed.
"Shut up, Alexis-"
"15 seconds-"
"You have one more time to tell me to shut up, Marvin-"
"SHUT UP, Alexis-"
"That's it!" and Alexis lunges across the soundboard. But before she could claw Marvin's face, Tracy grabs her.
"10 seconds,"
"Alexis, if you plan to work for me you must get your emotions in check."
"Marvin is a bully, he's a thoughless pig, and he alway- what?" Grasping Georgia's words finally.
"5 seconds-
"Meet me at my office tomorrow with Tracy,"
"4-
"You have a deal."
"3-"
"See you in the morning"
"2-"
"I'll be there."
"1-"
Showtime.
When it was all over, and the dust cleared-Georgia was the winner by a TKO-technical knock out. Those present weren't sure if it was Georgia's newfound attitude and makeover, the photos of Marvin engaged in sexual activities with his dope dealer- who is male-in exchange for drugs, the two callers who identified themselves as Marvin's girlfriends and used more profane words towards each other than 6 sailors who stumped their baby toe in the dark, Marvin's embezzling scheme to the tune of $500,000, or First Lady of Detroit, Carlita Kilpatrick-who was Georgia's featured guest on Marvin's show, announcing her impending divorce from Marvin's best friend and co-womanizer Detroit Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick-in addition to being Georgia's co-host on her radio show. It may have been the bomb Chloe dropped on Marvin, stating her Biology honors teacher, Bradley Garrison, who also owns a successful consulting firm, has confessed his love for Georgia, and promised to be the father Chloe needs, and the husband her mother, Georgia, deserves.
It is said all of the above contributed to Marvin's stroke. He is paralyzed on his left side and unable to speak, and has no short term memory.
The doctors said they could not promise Marvin would ever be marvelous again, but who knows what the future holds. That was 3.5 yrs ago. I remain hopeful, therefore I still pray for Marvin. I wish him no ill will.
Sigh.
As I think about the last 4 years of my life, it's hard to believe I made it through it all the hurt, and betrayals. But with the love of my husband, Brad, I truly know what unconditional love is.
Looking out of Marvin's bedroom window in the convalescent home, I think back on Bigma's words, attempting to understand their impact upon my life.
"Are you ready, baby?"
"Huh, oh hi honey, I was just thinking about the past...I didn't know you were here."
"Baby, the past is just that. The past. Let's think about our bright future together. And speaking of future, we have to pick up our daughter Breeanna, from my mother's. Breeanna wants her mommy-they don't call them "terrible 2's" for nothing!' Brad said with a hearty laugh.
"You're right! When Breeanna Garrison talks, EVERYBODY listens."
Laughter was heard down to the hospital elevators.
It is true, Bigma:
God don't like ugly.
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